Drowning in thoughts/ Pouring out / if u care? you will read

i realised...i can unintentionally hurt someone...with the choices i made...
i...i... sorry is all i can say...
why are people playing all dis guessing and hiding games?
Tell me...when i did something wrong...or shldnt do...
i dun regret many things i do...
but now its apparent i am regretting for a choice made 2 yrs ago...
and now the only choice opened to me...
is to leave and let things go on...hurting myself more doesnt make sense when it comes to dis...
life goes on does it not?
wat the pt of dragging and holding on to something when up to end of the day
i lose out to money and glamour....

there was a time where i tot 2 worlds can collide and co-exists hahaha
but the time was stopped abruptly by the choice you made...
nvr have i stopped u from finding a better future...
but i am afraid i cannot join u in ur endeavors of the business
ya it works , it can make u a rich person...
but wats the real structure behind it?
mayb u understand more...

money is wat i want more...and its the very same thing dat stops me from making more
irony huh....
yaya...mac can be taken over with 1 million...all i have to do is borrow/lend/beg (etc) for the money...after which i can return very fast...
my dream car...BMW can be bought with 8K... i have to do the same...
mayb it is my problem...
but i dun jus see the present...i can own mac or bmw...but how i am suppose to continue owning...?

all dis standard questions and answers i heard 2-3 yrs ago...
and the wrong person pose dis to me...hence i wasnt happy...
u asking a rich brat to come explain to me how money makes money...? haha
he can bloody afford to buy a car if he jus ask from mummy...
he may be smart in studies and appear very sociable and nice
jus be careful...is all i have to say...
u can tell him...i dun care....i am direct sorry...i dun make real frds with enemy or people i dislike

everyone wants a gd life...a life with abundant money and lots of time...
haha its the very dream that drives the nation the society...
I wish to do it my way... and not find the fastest way...
i might succeed or i might end up working my life away...but at the end of the day...
i think i will rather enjoy the process than to skip it
unrealistic? not thinking practically?

i was born with practical and realistic in my nature....
do you start working at 9 yrs old?
start clearing bowls/wiping tables at 9yrs old?
do you stand for 10 hrs almost everyday at a go every school holidays till you are 17?
when pple discussing wat to do or go in holidays...i dun have a choice...even on school terms weekends...its a obligation and my duty
do you understand the feeling of having to save like shit to get a 30 dollar wallet in sec school?
having to study like siao even though i hate it...becos if i dun...i have no chance at a better future?
all dis i knew and learnt by 8yrs old....
i never blamed or hated anyone or my parents cos i knew its out of no choice...
they wun ask me to go help out if they have a better choice...

something/someone change my thinking slowly over my army days...
and now i was told i am not practical enough...
i was living in a dream world...
when the world is realistic and cruel...and materialistic...
woo hoo~ i nearly flipped....

odd jobs etc are hard and not easy money...but to me its money...
now i dun save becos i want to enjoy dis time when i have the energy and time to party
i know the moment i step into the working world fully...its a rat race with no end...
i knew how it was like long b4 i will step into it...
less than a yr and u changed....

time to sleep now...but i will always wish you get wat u want and stay happy along the way....
i will finally take a step back and let u go on your journey to your aim and goal~
Sayonara... fool no more...for its time i woke and smell the roses...the stench of the real world AGAIN....